⛅ My girlfriend's kid thinks I'm a serial killer
A short story, a few fun links, and coffee's back in business!
Happy Sunday! Fall is really settling in, and we’re all for it up in this house. Hope you enjoy this week’s newsletter, and have a great week!
1. Last month in September, late in the afternoon, I was working through a technical specification for my job when I heard a knock on the office door. It was a Thursday. I know that because I remember being pretty tired that day, and I'm always tired the day after Wednesday, which is the night I nerd out and play video games with my pals.
Anyway, in walks my girlfriend's oldest boy, who is 12 and has just gotten home from school and should be doing his homework. I call him out.
"Hey buddy, what are you doing in here? Shouldn't you be doing your homework?"
He stutters a bit, then says, "Actually, I need to do an interview for one of my classes. Can I ask you a few questions?"
I look at him. My eyes sharpen. He looks back mostly innocently. I notice he doesn't have his Chromebook, or a pen, or pencil, and there's no paper in front of him. I'm immediately suspicious, but I agree to play along.
"Sure. What do you need to interview me about?"
He starts off with a few softball questions.
"What's your name?"
"How long have you lived here?"
"What do you do for your job?"
I answer politely. He's not writing anything down. My suspicion grows.
"What do you like to do for fun?"
I give a long-winded answer about the many things I enjoy doing. No way he’s remembering all of that.
"Don't you need to write any of this down? What do you need to turn in to your teacher?....What class did you say this was for again?"
He rips out a piece of notebook paper, grabs a pencil and starts writing some things down. Then, he starts throwing a few fastballs.
Him: "How did you meet my mom?"
Me: "On Tinder, a dating app."
Him: "What's your mother's maiden name?"
Me: "Sm...wait, what?"
He almost caught me off-guard, but my initial suspicions proved true. I looked over at him as he was sitting in the chair across from me. The semi-bright lamp behind him might as well have been shining right in my face. This wasn't an interview for a school project at all. This was an interrogation.
At this point, I had been with his mom for almost 11 months, and I had known him for more than 10.
"Well, where did you come from?!" he says.
I rolled my eyes and sent him packing. Turning back to my computer, I couldn't help but bear a big grin on my face.
That was the moment I realized the boy had grown (at least somewhat) fond of me, and for one reason or another, thinks I'm pretty awesome. I'm new to this having kids thing, so that was a big deal for me.
Later, I found out from his mom that I guess he just wanted to make sure I wasn't a serial killer (as any good boy should do for his mother). I can only assume he told some kids at school about his situation at home and they suggested I may be a murderer.
Fair enough. I probably would’ve done the same.
I've also found out that he's Googled me, found my writing, and may or may not be keeping tabs on me.
If so, listen up man. I lied, and I'm coming for you 😈.
2. Best links from around the web.
The BATMAN official trailer is out. So excited for this movie.
Disney World ticket price increase vs Wages, Rent, and Gasoline
News avoidance during the pandemic is associated with better mental well-being
A half-mile installation just took 20,000 pounds of plastic out of the Pacific Ocean
3. Coffee’s back in stock. Covid has really done a number on the global supply chain for almost EVERYTHING. That includes coffee beans, which put a huge damper on Dreamweaver Coffee the past few months. But, we’re finally back in business with all of our best tasting, crowd-favorite blends. To celebrate the normalization of our supply chain and our 1-year anniversary, all coffee is 30% off for the next month. Treat yourself and brew something that might just ruin all other coffee for you. »This way to awesome coffee.«
Til next time,
Jason 💗